The recent heatwave in Chicago must be getting to the players and coaches on both sides of town. Either that or they're just incompetent or cry-babies or bitches, or incompetent cry-baby bitches (I personally believe it's the latter).
We'll start with the incompetence. I'll try to give you the abstract versions because nobody has that kind of time to list and give in-depth analysis.
Tom Ricketts, which rhymes with "no one's buying tickets," (best line in a blog ever from Steve Rosenbloom's The Rosenblog) is a close second to the worst owner in sports (because let's face it, Al Davis is the worst sports owner in the history of owning a sports team). He's in his second year as the Cubs' owner and he may finally be getting his first clue in talking to Hall of Fame baseball executive Pat Gillick. I say MAY because Gillick might only be used as an advisor as opposed to utilizing his genius to clean house as a true baseball-man and get the organization back on track.
Mike Quade is simply in over his head. He's over-matched in every single game he perches himself in the dugout. He doesn't know how to manage a bullpen. He waits too long to get relievers up and ready. His lack of courage to hold his veterans accountable and his eagerness to attack the younger players after committing physical, not mental errors, is PATHETIC.
Jim Hendry Needs. To. Go. Nevermind him handing out long-term contracts with no-trade clauses like free Tide samples in the mail, his hand-picked Manager is evidence enough.
Does Alex Rios even qualify as a Major-League ball player to get a mention in this blog? Like what the string said to the other string "I'm afraid KNOT".
Cry-baby: It must be 97 degrees with a heat index of 115 inside Adam Dunn's head all year long with his 2-64 (.031) facing lefties and 5-50 (.100) overall in the month of July. He's on pace to have the worst batting average EVER in the history of the MLB. Dunn told Yahoo Sports' Jeff Passan “If I’m not having fun anymore, I’ll go home. Flat out. I’ll go home. I mean that. Swear to goodness. I’ll. Go. Home. I enjoy playing. Even though I suck. Or have been sucking. I enjoy playing the game. Love it. But as soon as I lose that, I’m gone, dude. It’s true." I'm sure he's having the time of his life with those stats. Maybe you SHOULD go home. At the very least go on the disabled-list with an "injury" because Ozzie has no choice but to keep letting you march up to the plate and not get good at-bats. You'll be doing the organization and the fans a huge solid.
Bitch: "Nice try, asking me to bring up (bleeping) Viciedo. I'm not in charge of making moves, I'm in charge of coaching." These words were uttered by bitch-bag White Sox pitching coach Don Cooper this morning on WSCR 670-AM. That's true Coop, you are in charge of coaching pitchers, but you were asked a simple question on the radio (in which you part-take to give your opinion, no less) and instead of being a man and doing so, you acted like a proverbial bitch by side-stepping the question and hung up on the hosts conducting the interview. Earlier in the interview, Coop took umbridge when The Daily Herald's Barry Rozner mentioned Philip Humber's two previous poor outings by replying with "One bad outing and one bad inning... now your question, please." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm under the impression that having one bad inning DURING an outing IS A BAD OUTING. Not being able to get out of the 5th inning after giving up four earned-runs IS A BAD OUTING! Look, I love the job Coop has done throughout the years in a White Sox uniform and I actually appreciate his wanting to defend his players, but man-up and call it like it is, Coop.
Here's a good example of calling it like it is: “To lose a (bleeping) game against Bruce Chen once again. That’s more painful than this one. (Bleeping) pathetic. No (bleeping) energy. We just go about the motions. We take the day off today...Nothing against Bruce Chen. I have a lot of respect for this kid. But the way we go about it, our approach at the plate, that’s not a good ballclub out there. (Bleep) it.
A lot of people say that I talk (bleep) because I have to talk (bleep). No I don’t. I talk (bleep) because it’s what I see. That’s all I see. Very bad. Very bad. The way we go about our business here? (Bleeping) horse(bleep). If we go to Cleveland that way? And we going to play New York, Boston and Detroit? Good luck.”
Gracias Ozzie Guillen. Gracias. (That's Spanish for Chicago should be so lucky to have a true baseball-man who refuses to blow smoke up your or anybody else's giggy).
Tune in to the Chicago Sports Fix radio show with Josh Catlow and me Rob Zielinski this and every Friday evening from 6 to 8pm only on http://www.chicagolandsportsradio.com/ Share your thoughts with us by calling 312-564-7375 during show hours or email chicagosportsfix@gmail.com
PREACH
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